


voICE

by running_with_luck



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Age Difference, Cameos, Gay Panic, Language Barrier, M/M, Mutual Pining, Power Imbalance, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:08:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21800674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/running_with_luck/pseuds/running_with_luck
Summary: Shoma Uno begins his training under Stephane Lambiel in Switzerland. Be it stress from the 2019 competition season of having no coach, or from finally being in a better mental head space, feelings are beginning to surface. It's easy to gain a different perspective when you finally look up from the bottom.How will training and future competitions go when both skater and coach are in love with each other without knowing it? Will they admit their feelings? Will they keep it a secret forever?
Relationships: Stéphane Lambiel/Shoma Uno
Comments: 3
Kudos: 77





	1. Start with the basics

In Switzerland, Shoma Uno finds himself under the guiding hand of famed skater Stephane Lambel. After a long and arduous skating season of intense self reflection, this seems like the best course of action Shoma can take after the trial run at Rostelecom. 

Stephane is kind, nurturing, and finds a way to communicate to Shoma even though Shoma’s English leaves much to be desired. They’ve skated together many times, and have known each other for a long time, remaining fast friends despite long gaps of time not seeing each other. What seems to be most unusual is that Shoma feels so at home around him. He likes to talk with Stephane when he can, laugh with him. Even though there is a language barrier, conversation comes naturally.

It feels right, being there with Stephane. Learning, honing his skating and becoming friends with those who are also under Stephane’s care.

On one particular training day, Shoma has fumbled his timing for his jumps a third time that day, resulting in a pretty painful crash and earning Stephane’s undivided attention.

Stephane’s arm is tucked gently around Shoma’s waist, pulling him in while a guiding hand is placed against his cheek, directing him better for what he should be looking for. Shoma only catches about half of Stephane’s full sentences, but he thinks he understands what he’s saying. It’s when Stephane takes his hand away, and Shoma turns to look at Stephane, that he notices just how close they really are. Stephane's chest is right up against his back, keeping Shoma in half an embrace.

“Understand?” Stephane asks with the usual cheerful and adoring smile. Shoma nods, but in that moment, everything Stephane has tried to convey to him has been lost. He’s so caught up in that smile that when Stephane lets him go completely, he has to struggle to keep his balance for a few seconds.

_ Has Stephane always been that radiant? _

This question haunts Shoma for the rest of practice. He reflects on his interactions with Stephane, what they mean to him. Every ounce of praise, every piece of advice, they hit a little harder than usual, tightening his chest as his heart flutters uncharacteristically. His mind is so clearly somewhere else that he falls more than usual.

Shoma has always had the suspicion that he isn’t straight. Beyond that, he hadn’t put much more thought into it.

That’s why he’s here. To continue to grow as a skater, and learn more about himself as a person.

Practice ends and Shoma is just starting to deliberate on what to have for dinner instead of thinking about Stephane when Stephane, the man in question, calls to him before he has a chance to leave the ice completely.

“Shoma, wait, please.” 

Dutifully, Shoma does as he’s told. The other skaters file out one by one until it’s just the two of them, alone at the rink. Shoma does his best not to read too far into it. It’s not unusual for Stephane to call someone aside to check on them.

“You seemed quiet today. Are you okay?”

Caught red handed. Nothing gets past Stephane, so why would Shoma being so distracted be any exception? Especially considering the past few competitions have been less than stellar because of how he had gotten so wrapped up in his own head.

Shoma averts his gaze. He laces his fingers together in front of himself, keeping his fingers straight and tense as a way to ease this strange anxiety that’s made a home in his chest. He doesn't like that it's living there, and wants to be rid of it.

“I have been sinking a lot today.” Ever the ‘th’ in English words fail to function on his Japanese tongue. Stephane seems to smile a little more at it every time he hears it, which is more than Shoma normally expects from others. He knows he can trust Stephane not to be offended by it and be patient with his lack of vocabulary.

“Can you tell me more?” Stephane asks when Shoma doesn’t elaborate and gently gestures towards the ice so they can skate together. Just them, casually circling around the outer edges of the rink slowly while they’re still warmed up, without exhausting Shoma further.

Shoma glances around the rink. It’s just them. No one can hear them. No cameras or iphones in sight, to tell the world more about Shoma’s personal life that he already has to keep an iron grip on.

“Skating is important. To me. Is all I do” Shoma tries, struggling to properly articulate what he wants to say. It’s difficult, because naturally, just by being who he is, he wants to keep it to himself, and bury this feeling until it dies. That doesn’t seem to be working out so well, as it has surfaced so quickly and fiercely. The next best thing is to dance around the topic and allow context to divulge the true meaning.

He tilts his head a little bit as he does his best to translate before he speaks.

“What to do, when you like someone?”

Stephane must not have been expecting this kind of question and his understanding, calm smile breaks for a moment into a grin, before he swallows it to bring his lips back down to a firm line. Shoma wants to call this Stephane's ‘Coach Mode’.

“You like someone?” Stephane asks, his tone even. If there’s another emotion there, Shoma can’t pin down what it could be called.

Shoma nods. “Very slow, but I sink yes.”

“Do I know them? If I do, I’d like to be invited to the wedding” Stephane jokes and it does make Shoma smile unintentionally, loosening the tension in his face and body.

“Do they know?” he adds with some level of seriousness.

To this, Shoma shakes his head.

“Hm…” Stephane switches to skating backwards to look at Shoma properly, their pace continuing to be leisurely.

“As your coach, I think it should stay that way. You should focus on the rest of the season. Practice, and get better. But… As your friend, I can see it is very heavy. It weighs on you, yes?”

Another nod and Shoma’s throat tightens at the thought of how quickly these emotions have caught up to him.

It’s been a rough season and a shining beacon in the darkness has been Stephane. It’s the first time in a long time something has actually felt like it’s supposed to be. It makes him wonder if these feelings that are starting to surface have always been there, adding to the weight of skating alone, being pulled out of his comfort zone.

Stephane can see Shoma’s distress, because he gives Shoma a moment to speak again. When he doesn’t, Stephane presses the topic a little further. 

“Would telling them make you feel better?” 

Shoma slows to a stop, and looks to the ice, clearly giving it some thought. Sometimes it's best to face these things head on, but to what end...? What does he want from this...?

“I don’t know” Shoma finally answers as he looks up at Stephane. The answer is incredibly lame, but it’s better to admit that he doesn’t know something than constantly going around in circles playing a guessing game with himself.

Stephane nods a few times, humming acknowledgement and seeming to understand as he sucks in his lowerlip. He skates up to be in front of Shoma and reaches over to place a hand on his shoulder. Firm, but comforting. Sometimes a touch is enough to pull a skater out of a mental funk, but it can't be everything.

“Alright. Tonight, think about it. Tomorrow, tell me yes or no. Okay? I will help you with what you decide.”

“Okay.” Looking completely helpless, Shoma still manages to smile while meeting Stephane’s gaze. Stephane ruffles Shoma’s hair affectionately, making Shoma duck some.

“Good! Now go stretch and get something to eat. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Shoma skates off with his odd homework assignment. He has to decide tonight whether telling Stephane that Shoma may or may not be in love with him… Already he is weighing the pros and cons in his mind, the time limit intimidating but necessary. Maybe some food and rest will help him come to a clearer answer. 

One thing is certain, Shoma will know by the time he comes back for practice tomorrow.

-

Stephane watches Shoma exit the rink, leaving him alone to his thoughts. His warm smile seems to waver, turning melancholic in the absence of others.

“So… Shoma’s fallen for someone finally, huh?” he muses to himself as he tucks his hands in his jacket pockets. He takes his time skating to the exit, swooping out largely left and right.

“Whoever they are, they’re very lucky.”

Not that Stephane would ever force his feelings on the much younger skater. He’s always loved seeing Shoma skate, and seeing Shoma smile is a blessing by itself with how often Shoma keeps to himself. Loving Shoma's skating at some point turned into a love for the skater very quickly. Stephane has long since learned how to compartmentalize, and lock that part of himself away.

Outside of whether or not Shoma is even some level of gay, and choosing to ignore Stephane is now Shoma’s coach, there is a significant age difference between them. Shoma is very mature, certainly, but Stephane knows that even a 21 year-old can still be an impressionable age. These are the excuses he tells himself, the bricks he’s used to build this wall between himself and the emotions that could compromise Shoma’s happiness.

Stephane had watched Internationaux de France. Watching Shoma cry alone positively broke Stephane’s heart. He had to be talked out of booking a flight to Japan to greet Shoma himself and whisk him away to Switzerland where nothing could ever make him cry that way again. It was fortunate no one was in the same room as him when he received Shoma’s phone call not long after, asking to take up his offer of coaching him. He might’ve dropped his phone at seeing the caller id, and whooped in joy once the phone call had ended.

Tomorrow, Stephane will know more, and support Shoma in all ways. The mental health of his skaters is just as important as the ability to skate their routines.

He’ll give Shoma everything. Everything.


	2. The Confession and Conclusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shoma confesses and Stephane says no?!

“I think you should tell him” Itsuki’s blasé tone could’ve easily been about the weather instead of about Shoma’s love life.

Shoma positively sputters over his earbud microphone, and mistaps on his enemy, sending his character straight to its demise in his phone game. He groans briefly in his defeat as he respawns.

“Wouldn’t that cause problems?” Shoma feels like he’s asking the air of his room rather than his own brother.

The downside to being in Switzerland instead of his home town is that it’s a lot harder to communicate with his brother. Itsuki once talked of being Shoma’s manager, and sometimes Itsuki threatens to make good on his promise. He’s better at English, for a start, which Shoma knows he  _ should _ be better at, but it’s just a strange language compared to Japanese. However, Itsuki has never questioned his older brother over his sexual preferences, beyond clarifying terminology. Itsuki will be a force to be reckoned with when he is older.

“Hmm… Probably, but think about it” Itsuki says and Shoma watches Itsuki’s character positively dominate this specific match. 

“Wouldn’t it cause more problems if you didn’t tell him?” Itsuki leaves a pause, but Shoma never answers, so he continues.

“Most of your problems started in your head. Frustration at not growing, a feeling of stagnation with your skating routines. It ended up making a whirlwind of chaos in your mind. I think if you try to bottle this up as well, it’ll reflect in your skating.”

Shoma didn’t want to tell Itsuki that it was already reflecting in his skating during practices, enough that Stephane had to say something in private.

“... Do you think a letter would be better than face to face?”

“Has your English improved enough to write one? Because I’m not helping you write it.” 

Shoma makes a noise at Itsuki, and it said enough for him. Little brothers sure know how to twist a knife, even if they weren’t the ones to put it there.

“I can make my own love confessions, thanks.”

“Anytime, big brother.”

Soon, Itsuki had to leave, as time-zones limited the length of their chats, but it left Shoma with very little doubt. Stephane had to know, and from there, Shoma could move past this fog and start focusing on skating. 

Stephane didn’t like him back like that, but that would be fine. Shoma isn’t asking Stephane to put his life on hold for a relationship. This is just an exercise in clearing the air.

An actual relationship would be nice, though. 

Tomorrow came, and Shoma attended practice with a reinvigorated fervor. This time, it was off ice exercises. Jogging, jumping, stretching, and some time spinning in a rig. By the end of the day, Shoma felt tired, but determined. The intense training had managed to burn off the worst of his nervous anxieties and left him determined to just get it over with.

Even Stephane could see there was determination in his eyes throughout the day, but there hadn’t been a true break until training was officially over.

Shoma tugs on Stephane’s sleeve as everyone begins to break away. “Walk togeser, please?” 

Stephane nods. They had agreed to talk more about Shoma’s personal situation more, after all, and Stephane is glad to see Shoma is willing to go through with it. It’s been such a short amount of time, but Shoma has already grown so much.

Their walk starts in a comfortable silence. It’s a nice day in the mountains, the sun is warm even when the air itself is still cool. A nice, refreshing breeze tugs at their clothes. They don’t need to speak the same language to appreciate each other’s company and Stephane always finds Shoma’s presence to be stabilizing.

“So… Did you decide to tell the person you like how you feel?” Stephane asks, finding a direct question is easier to understand rather than dance around the topic. The sooner this is resolved, the sooner he can start breaking down and dismantling his feelings for the skater under his care.

“Yes.” Shoma stops, and Stephane, who hadn’t been told they were stopping, takes a few steps more before turning around to look at Shoma. They had started down a steep hill, which ended up making Shoma almost at the same height as Stephane. Almost.

_ He looks serious,  _ Stephane thinks, his breath temporarily caught in his chest as he waits to hear more.

“You. 好き... いいえ, 大好き. Un. [I like… No, I love you.]” He nods firmly, confirming it with himself. “I love you, Stephane. Very much.”

Stephane is stunned into silence, and the silence is drawn out enough to make Shoma start to worry.

“No good?” Shoma asks, with a small, concerned head tilt that reminds Stephane of a small puppy trying to listen.

“No!” Stephane seems to scramble and takes a step closer, his hand reaching for Shoma’s arm, hovering awkwardly in the air. Suddenly being confessed to is something he’ll have to take time to process, but he doesn’t want to lose this opportunity. Realizing that he might’ve said the wrong thing, he tries again.

“I mean, yes! Is good. Very good.” His smile is shaky from a rush of adrenaline and joy, but he’s positively beaming.

Shoma likes the way Stephane’s eyes are sparkling and he visibly releases tension in his shoulders. Stephane takes this as his cue to run a hand from Shoma’s shoulder down to his wrist.

“I also love you, Shoma, I think in the same way. But are you sure?”

“Shur?” Shoot, Shoma knows this word, probably...

“This. Us.” Stephane gestures between them with his other hand to explain something like a bond.

“To be together. Do you want that?”

“Hmm…” Shoma lowers his gaze, his brow furrowing. He hadn’t exactly thought that far, as he hadn’t thought Stephane wanted anything like that. He holds onto Stephane’s hand while the thinks for a few long seconds. 

“Skating… Is important. But, Stephane is important also.” 

Stephane breathes out sharply, not the least bit surprised but definitely relieved. This boy makes his heart skip a bit with his sincere honesty every single time.

“It would have to stay a secret, for a while anyway. Is that something you can handle?” After all, this whole confession idea was  _ supposed _ to help Shoma mentally with his skating.

Shoma nods in understanding. 

“It feels better…” He gestures to his chest, tapping his fingers over his heart. “Better to have secret than never have.”

With a brief glipse around, Stephane takes in their surroundings. There is no one in sight that he can see… They should be safe here. 

Stephane gently lays a hand on Shoma’s cheek, catching Shoma’s attention. Stephane can see a red flush making its way up Shoma’s neck. It’s nice to be the reason it’s there instead of a skating routine.

He gently kisses Shoma’s forehead, not wishing to push Shoma’s boundaries too far. How long Shoma even known he was some kind of gay anyway? Stephane has so many new questions and while Shoma is here training, he intends to take advantage of their down time to learn more about him.

Shoma, however, has at least seen the dramas. Stephane is being gentle with him, Shoma knows this, but how can he tell Stephane that he isn’t fragile?

When Stephane pulls away to get a better look at Shoma’s face, Shoma reaches up and grabs Stephane’s neck, to pull him down for a true kiss. Stephane makes a surprised noise, but let’s Shoma have his way. 

It lasts for only a few seconds, but each and every one of those seconds meant the most to both of them. This is a start of something new, something better. 

Stephane pulls back, and they both have to take a moment to catch their breath.

“Well then…” Stephane starts with a chuckle as he tucks a stray hair of Shoma’s behind his ear.

“How about I buy you dinner?”

Shoma laughs and nods several times. “Meat, please.”

Stephane laughs with him. “You did ask so nicely, so meat it is.”

They both settle next to each other while continuing to hold hands as they make their way back towards town and the rink.

Certainly, they will remain coach and skater, but now they will have a bond much, much deeper than that. A love for skating, and a love for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ey-o. Time seems to be in abundance right now. Hope y'all are staying safe inside. Thanks for reading my very self indulgent Stephma (Shophane?). Since I got all this time, guess it's time to wrap up my wips and start some new ones. Thanks, everyone, for your comments. They've been keeping me going, especially these days. You all have my deepest gratitude.

**Author's Note:**

> So. I noticed a significant lack of fics written for this particular pairing. Surprising, considering how long these two have known each other and how close they seem to be whenever they meet up. Putting double Winter aside, seriously, have you seen Stephane lately? I swear every time he starts talking about Shoma in interviews he tries to outgay his last statement. Shoma looks happier every day, thank the gods of skating for that. T^T
> 
> I've been wanting to see something for them, and thanks to encouragement from a friend, I've decided to be the change I've wanted to see. Heck, if I have to write every Stephane/Shoma fic myself, I fuggin will!
> 
> Let me know what you guys think. I'll take requests for fic ideas for this pairing too. :3
> 
> (I know my NatSho fic needs updating, the next chapter is sitting on a different computer ><)


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